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| I have approximately 10 days. I have today until the 9th of September since I have an interview on the 10th. But I was going to leave sooner than that. I had hoped to, and at the same time, wished that I didn't have to go. Since I had a conversation with my parents and figuring out that they like to tell me that they can do things when they can't, I realized that I hate my parents more than I love my friends. Okay, that's not fair. I love my friends very much, but I enjoy not having to kill my parents and lose my sanity and whatever future I have much more. But when I come down, I can always just never see my parents. It's the way that it is.
It's funny. I'm leaving in around 10 days and they're still lecturing about going out too much. Are they retarded or is it just me? Well retarded isn't exactly the word that I'm looking for, but something more like "unrealistic," "illogical," and "insane" tend to come to mind. I wonder if there's a word for all of those... Oh wait. There is. "Asian parent." Granted, two words, but it sums them up and others pretty well.
I really have more like 7 days to spend with my friends and I really don't want to deal with my parents. I have today. Saturday is spent on a wedding. Sunday is church and church people. Monday - Friday are free. Saturday will be spent buying things and packing. Sunday is church and then I leave that night. So that's a total of 6 days. Shit. Less than a week.
I'm going to miss everyone so much. <3 But I'll be free of my parents. Finally.
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| I can't take my family and this house anymore. I want to leave. I want to leave on the first of September or sooner. I want to get the fuck out of here. I'm going to miss people though, though I don't get to see them all the time. But I'm going to miss people. Damn. But anyways. I want to leave. I want to start something new, do something new. Damn. Not pleasant.
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| UC Davis. I'm going to go to UC Davis. It's better than UC Irvine and all the other ones that I had, so I guess I'm off to "cow town."
I went to visit Wed - today, and it was really pretty. Big and spread out and stuff, but it's really pretty. I sat in on Chrl's class and it was really fun. It was psych and I wasn't bored too much and it seems okay. Her TA and the professor had interesting accents, and it wasn't really all that bad. Stilly, I think I like it there. I should have gone into more than one lecture, but that's okay.
The food isn't that bad, I kinda liked it. It's not really gross, but it's not really good. Just... normal I guess. I don't really mind it since I can't really tell anyways. The soup was a tad salty, but not too bad. Dorms are livable, so I think it'll be okay on that front. I'll need to get a bicycle though, it's just a pain to walk everywhere, so I'm going to bike to class. YAY! <3
Davis has a lot of shops around it and stuff. It's got Borders, Baskin Robins, Jamba Juice, 2 yarn stores, starbucks, etc. The only thing that it doesn't have is Asian markets and stuff like that. But San Francisco isn't too far away and I can go there like once a month or something like that. Andy's mom says that she's going to mail snacks to me so I don't lose my mind. Still, I think that's pretty good, I can't have everything.
I like Davis, it's clean and peaceful and definitely a college town. It's not that bad. I think I'm in it for the environment, not the education like I thought I would. So I'm probably going to use it to console myself about not getting UCLA and stuff. But if I get tired of Davis, I can always just transfer, it's apparently not that hard to transfer.
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| I'm pissy that I didn't get into UCLA and my mother told the world. Rather, she told the world that I didn't get in and now I get to break the news to people I don't know. But this is my discussion with my family about not getting into UCLA:
Me: I didn't get into UCLA
Mom: Yes you did
Brother: Yes you did. you got the big letter.
Me: Yes, but that doesn't mean I got into UCLA.
Brother: Yes it does.
Me: No it doesn't. I didn't get in.
Mom: What are you talking about? your brother said you did.
Me: No, I got into a program that sends me to UCMerced and then I can TRANSFER to UCLA. I didn't get in.
Them: Oh.
Mom: But I already told your grandfather and other people.
Me: ...
Mom: So why didn't you get into UCLA?
Me: because I'm not good enough?
Mom: Why?
Me: BECAUSE THERE ARE BETTER APPLICANTS!?
My family drives me mad. Absolutely insane. Then Taylor got me chocolate from Sees, which btw, is wonderful. Granted it is at 3:00am and my mother's annoyed. Then she comes in and lectures me for like half an hour about how I'm so weird about not getting to go to UCLA and how it's not that important and so insignificant because I tried hard and that's what counts. I laughed and laughed and laughed. It was a hysterical laugh though since saying that is such bullshit. It's not a big picture in the grand scheme of things, but neither is living, so it's really all about perspective. Example: The kids that lose parents in the war? Insignificant since there are so many MORE kids that are losing parents to AIDS and getting AIDS themselves. All about perspective.
And that trying hard bit? The world doesn't care how hard you TRY just that you produce results. It doesn't matter if you worked 40 hours on that paper, if it's crap, it's still crap. Sorry, but it's the truth. And spouting crap like that to make me feel better doesn't really help, actually, it kinda makes it worse.
Now I don't know what to do. UCI? UCSB? Those two are my newest choices, the rest don't really matter. UCSD (too close to home. I know better), UCD (COWTOWN), UCSC (hippies), UCM/UCR(let's not talk about those two). So it's down to an Asian school that might not have anything in it and is a commuter school or a party school which some people think is beneath me. ^^;; Oh well. I'll ponder it some more, visit the two campuses and stuff like that. Somehow it'll come together. Worse comes to worse, I can transfer to UCLA.
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| I'M FREAKING 6 FOR 6!!!!!!!
UCSD, UCD, UCSB, UCSC, UCR, UCM. <3
But on a more depressing note, I think that before I go, I should visit Ryan and tell him everything. I kinda wish that he was around to share with me. I mean, if I told him in theory class, I totally know that he'd distract me and take advantage of my ADD/ADHD/Lysdexia and not do work. =( But I miss that. <3 It's easier now.
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